How to pick up porteñas….. NOT!
PARTIES CAN LOOK LIKE THIS
I recently had this conversation with a girl at a party.
nathan: it’d be nice to hang out sometime
her: totally
nathan: your friend has my info
her: what?
nathan: uhmm… like… if you want to…
her: you look tired
nathan: but i…
her: go to bed
I decided it was high time to figure out how to pick up girls and where else to go but the internet. Porteños (people from Buenos Aires) are always telling me that Porteñas (their fairer counterparts) are the most beautiful women in the world, so I would need some very special help to get me through this.
[ENTER BLOGOSPHERE: STAGE LEFT]
Here I recommend three diverse articles that might help.
Nightlife in Buenos Aires: Hooking up with a Porteña by A.J. Hayes
Favorite Quote: Even if you honestly can’t speak one word… suck it up and learn a few key phrases like “my Spanish is very bad” (“mi castellano es muy malo”) and “if you want, you can practice your English with me” (“si quieres, tu puedes practicar tu ingles conmigo”).
Caveat: While these techniques can be used by anyone, those are not the one night stand photos I’d post on my blog…
Picking Up Girls in B.A. Know How by Diva
Favorite Quote: Here are some examples possible situations and the correct way (I mean the porteño I-can-F…-them-all way) to behave.
Caveat: Diva has no experience in picking up girls. This may only work for picking up Diva.
Sex in Buenos Aires by David Stone
Favorite Quote: Next thing I knew, she emerged from my bathroom wearing nothing but a Sheraton bathrobe, albeit not for long.
Caveat: This approach may only work with prostitutes.
Now with all my questions answered I feel prepared to go out into the big wide world to win over the girl of my dreams! Though actually now that I think about it it sounds like a lot of trouble… It’s the long weekend and I’ll probably stay home and paint or draw or make games or something…