the end of mediocrity

a few weeks ago i freaked out and called everyone to tell them i was freaking out, that i didn’t know where my life was going, that i was a bit depressed. everyone was very supportive, very nice. main point of advice: stop talking to aviva and either start travelling or get a job.

i went back to sacramento and made an appointment to see a career counselor. it was cool. i met with the nice lady and today i took her career aptitude test. it turned out to be a glorified personality test, dividing people into four catagories. it nailed me pretty well and then went on to describe careers from photojournalist to art therapist. it felt pretty good to be done with the test and it made me think a bit about where i want to go in the future.

so i’m sitting here waiting for aviva’s call and it’s like 1am and she’s clearly not going to call. it’s sad. i figure she probably just has more important things. i break down and call. i go straight to voicemail: her phone is off. probably dead. she was complaining that she had no batteries.

yknow… it makes sense. sure. her cellphone is out of batteries and a bit dysfunctional. i wonder if one day i could take her cellphone out to coffee. we’d probably have a lot to talk about.

bitter, i remind myself that she has many other friends who can provide support. i surf over to friendster and it turns out that she has 147 friends and glowing testimonials that say things like:

This girl is like no one else in the
world. I fell in love instantly. She
can make the darkest days into
colorful, messy, silly, hazy costume
parties. She has the softest upper
arms of anyone. It’s quite obvious
that I miss her terribly.


This girl is gold!!! If you meet her,
don’t let go.

with that kind of fanclub she doesn’t need me waiting up at 1am for a phonecall that doesn’t come.

then i notice that friendster has given aviva and i a joint horoscope:

You and Aviva can overcome any bumps on the road.
It’s time to share the love — affection abounds right now, in a myriad of forms and a multitude of ways. The time is right to let someone (or someones) know just how much their presence has really brightened up your life. It doesn’t have to be mushy and sentimental, nor does it have to be perfectly expressed. What matters most is sharing your sincere appreciation of your relationship. So go ahead — express yourself.


screw you, friendster.

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