Get Over It

It’s funny how you can get caught between two diametrically opposed points of view. Both are equally valid but to the exclusion of the other. I’m caught between travelling and putting down roots, between hoping that Aviva and I will get back together and getting over it. I’m sitting in Victrola listening to Ira Glass wax on about the screwball comedy notion of “just” friends in Get Over It.

In the episode he and his exgirlfriend go to Saks Fifth Avenue. They have been broken up for six months but still talking on the phone a few times a week. No sex but relying on eachother for emotional needs. In the small moments of her emotional distance, his trying to make the connection, whether he comes into the dressing room to see her try on clothes or not, her getting a black miniskirt for a date with a new guy. It all makes him wonder: what am I doing here?

It’s so interesting the difference between making a decision and following through. It’s so easy to talk about the green grass over there but making the journey “over there”

How much information do you want about the new guy/girl?

You want them to be happy BUT it’s sad that they’re happy without you.

I am happy. I enjoy my days. Yesterday I had a great time working with Teruki on the computer and eating dinner over at Devon’s. I’m learning a lot on Flash. Ira talks about willing yourself to get over someone or something. I want it to be NOW. I want it to be OVER. I want to have MOVED ON.

ugh…

life


WAITING FOR THE BUS

Life here in Seattle is kind of tough because I’m purposeless. Before when I asked myself why I was here I would answer: so I can be near Aviva. This was a terrible answer and, for the most part, I blame it for breaking us up. But now that we are broken up, why am I here? And I guess I am here cause I signed a lease and I’m stuck here. Otherwise I’d be… travelling. I think it’s hard to travel unless you’re running from something or going to somewhere and now I guess I will be doing both soon.

A lot of my problem is that I have nothing to “show” for being here. No big ol stamp on the resume. I remember the first time I ever hung out with Aviva she was upset because she had learned so much abroad but it wasn’t quantifiable. We drew with pastels and I was telling her that the stuff she had learned would be with her all her life. That she didn’t need a piece of paper just to say she had learned something.

Maybe I’ll draw myself a diploma.

I need one.

I wonder if I should give myself a minor…


this is the diploma she drew herself

kraft singles

so i guess i’m single now.

weird.

uhhhmmm…. yeah. single.

whoooooo!!!!

i guess it’s a cliche but i’m discovering all that extra time that i
always felt i never had. it’s amazing the stuff you can get
accomplished when you’re single.

the breakup was good. respectful. probably as good as it gets. both
of us were upset. both of us love eachother. neither of us is huge on
dating other people immediately. i really couldn’t have expected
anything more.

single.

weird.


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